(Fails are listed in chronological order)
Down Under Bar/Club
Let me make it clear that there is nothing wrong with the venue itself. We were having an awesome time until the night took a wrong turn. We noticed that everyone was wearing sombreros and fake mustaches, so we assumed there was a theme and that the theme was Mexican. That made sense because tequilas were the cheap special that night. Then we noticed leis and some Hawaiian looking garb. We asked around. The theme of the night was “beach”. Whatevs we can live with a weirdly executed theme if it meant we still got to dance to fun music with cheap drinks.
And then the wet t-shirt contest started. There were either six or seven girls involved, but only three are worth noting. For story’s sake I will refer to them as Desperate, Massive, and Brazilian. So Desperate comes out with her black rhinestone and lace bra still on, her white t-shirt already shredded beyond any form of modesty. Massive is massive. Clearly wearing nothing under her t-shirt, but at least the t-shirt is still on and intact. Brazilian is tiny and kind of cute and seemed pretty shy about the whole thing. At first. Then the music starts and the squirt guns come out. Massive has clearly done this before, as she performs a meticulously choreographed burlesque, ending the first song with nothing left to the imagination, her shirt ripped in half. Desperate started with her own drunken groove, but soon began to follow everything Massive did. I felt bad for her. Brazilian started out strong, but was so visibly repulsed by Massive’s performance next to her that she decided to give up on a routine and just had fun dancing, not showing anything. Brazilian ended up as the crowd favorite, winning the $300, her boyfriend jumping on stage to show off his prize upon the announcement of the win.
Camera
My Nikon died again, but luckily my parents came up and my dad dropped off his old Kodak. But this Kodak takes bad night pictures, even when totally still. Also, I may or may not have submerged it when I fell into shark infested waters. But it still works. (Don't worry dad!)
4x4 Rental
We were informed that Queensland had passed a new law that stated that nobody who goes to Fraser Island could rent a 4x4 without also taking a guide. Unsure of the truth in this statement, we decided to wait until getting to Queensland to book our 4x4. Unfortunately, everyone else in the world must have had the same spring break plans as we, as every single 4x4 on the island was booked. Rather than our planned 3 day 2 night camping trip, we took a day tour. We had a great time anyway, but we didn’t get to see nearly as much as we had wanted.
Frogs in the Road
During our 13-hour overnight drive, I was so excited to see the infamous Cane Toads of Queensland. However, I quickly learned that they refused to move for cars. They make loud popping sounds when they get run over. But they’re smarter than the smaller frogs who actually jump towards the headlights of the car. I tried to think of it as a game of Frogger so I wouldn’t feel so bad.
Residents of Queensland
In more touristy areas, the Queensland Aussies were overall really rude. We don’t know if it’s because we came during a tourist season or if it’s because we’re Americans or what, but we rarely had enjoyable interactions with the locals. Especially rude was the man working at the Airlie Beach information center. Do not seek information from him under any circumstances. Buy a map.
The Weather
If you know me, you know I have an inability to tan and yet I love to rotisserie in the sun anyway. I was particularly looking to lay out like a reptile during our three day two night sailing trip around the Whitsunday Islands. The first day was perfect weather. Then it rained for the next four days until we traveled south to Mackay.
Nemo
I didn’t find him.
Nutrition
We cut a lot of money by eating at a low cost. It may take me years to once again enjoy pasta and rice. I never want to see another pb&j sandwich as long as I live.
The U.S. Dollar
For the duration of this trip, the Australian dollar was worth $1.10 U.S. dollars. And everything is already more expensive here. I should have studied abroad in Asia.
My Little Ponies
During our farmstay just outside of Mackay I ended up riding five horses, while most guests rode just one. One was too easy, so it was given to a more beginner rider. One was too large and didn't respond to my weight. One was too sore to go out. One fell while I was on him and jammed his ankle too badly to be ridden. The last one was the instructor's horse who had a bit of an attitude, but was manageable.
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